Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
