i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
