i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
