I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
