Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
