I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
