So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
40s are totally the cure
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
