Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
