how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
