Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
