The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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