party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
too bad you live with your parents still
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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