I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just saw a hot homeless man
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
