sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
