I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
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