You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
