I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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