In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Why is there bacon in the couch?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
