nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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