I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
