Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
