she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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