That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize