kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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