I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
