no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
