This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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