First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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