they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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