His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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