we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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