I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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