plz talk dirty to me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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