Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
