i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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