the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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