i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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