After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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