I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize