Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
