What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
