p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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