The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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