So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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