Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
