He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
