On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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