oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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