Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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