I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
