So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
