i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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