trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
