i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
