going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
